


Missing You

by bb18



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Body Worship, Breathplay, Feelings, Intimacy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-08 10:56:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17980022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bb18/pseuds/bb18
Summary: Killua dragged his fingertips across Gon’s back, lightly skimming where the skin meets his loose shirt collar. Gon breathed audibly and they fell into a pattern alternating breaths, listening close to the reassuring sound of air flowing peacefully. Killua felt himself ease into the practice, sink into the bed a bit heavier and let his mind wander a bit more.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic ever.........let me know what you think

Killua turned his head on the pillow to look at Gon’s resting form across the room. Their suite was small and comfortable with two twin beds, a full bath, and plenty of freshly fluffed pillows. Seeing the hotel room brought back memories of the Hunter exam, when they were twelve years old and playing a dangerous game in hopes of finding themselves. The memory of the beginnings of his first enjoyable relationship with another person reminded Killua of the warmth Gon’s presence brought to his lonely being. 

It’d been many years since then. Killua felt a pang of nostalgia in his chest work its way up to his throat, constricting his airway and stinging his eyes. He forced down a dry swallow and blinked the sharp pain away. Instead of mourning his past reprieve from the darkness of his childhood, Killua decided he wanted to focus on the intimacy of listening to Gon’s breathing. 

Rhythmic, soothing, wooshing air pumps itself slowly in and out of Gon’s lungs. If Killua listened closer, he could hear the steady pounding of Gon’s heartbeat. He tried to imagine the blood sloshing in and out of Gon’s heart to the beat of his pace. He tried to match his own shallow breathing to the drawn-out breaths of Gon’s unconscious form. 

He missed Gon. Even though they are in the same room, Gon’s warmth feels so out of reach to Killua. He wanted Gon’s smile, Gon’s eyes looking so directly into his own, Gon’s cheery laugh and assured nature. He debated waking Gon up just to see him move, hear him speak, know he is still conscious in there, that his presence hasn’t left Killua to his dark thoughts in this stranger’s room. 

Mito-san and Alluka were sleeping in the suite next door. They’d all decided to meet up after a couple years of training, missions, and fleeing from enemies. Rather than risk returning to a known safe house, it was decided to visit a resort not too far from Whale Island and enjoy the picture-perfect beaches together. 

Killua wasn’t worried about waking them. He stealthily slid out of his covers and crossed the room to Gon’s bed. He first layed his hand on Gon’s shoulder, so he wouldn’t startle much, then invited himself under the sheets to press up close against Gon’s body. 

“Killua?” Gon blinked his eyes awake slowly. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, shifting aside to make room for Killua to lay next to him. 

“Nothin’. Just had a bad dream. Can I stay here for a bit?” Killua asked, but he already knew the answer. They’d shared the same bed plenty of times before. 

“Of course,” Gon answered. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“Nah, it wasn’t too bad or anything,” Killua replied quietly, his voice lowered to a whisper. He looked searchingly into Gon’s eyes for any discomfort, making sure the new sleeping arrangement was okay before he made himself comfortable. He made sure to stay facing Gon. 

Gon smiled and wiggled his toes against Killua’s bare leg. Killua sighed and stretched his arm over Gon’s middle, Gon lifting his arm to accommodate the extra limb. 

Killua sighed again. He really did miss this. He wasn’t sure what their relationship was—they’d never put a label to it—but he knew he didn’t want to lose it. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he’s come to love the feeling of intimacy. Just sharing each other’s space, touching each other’s skin, breathing each other’s air made Killua’s head pleasantly dizzy. 

Killua dragged his fingertips across Gon’s back, lightly skimming where the skin meets his loose shirt collar. Gon breathed audibly and they fell into a pattern alternating breaths, listening close to the reassuring sound of air flowing peacefully. Killua felt himself ease into the practice, sink into the bed a bit heavier and let his mind wander a bit more. 

His hand also wandered to trace the outline of Gon’s shoulder down his arm, pressing lightly into his elbow crease and gripping the forearm to wrist, then entwining his hand with Gon’s. Gon slotted his fingers between Killua’s and shared a smile that spread warmth down Killua’s spine. 

Killua wasn’t sure who moved first, but the few inches between their lips closed with their tilted heads, fluttered eyelashes, and chaste lips on lips. It was a dry kiss that radiated warmth into each other, their eyes slightly open and gazing into one another. Such a kiss felt almost too sweet, too warm, too pure for Killua to process. 

Their lips parted gently and Killua felt Gon’s leg slotting between his, rubbing stubble and rough skin in delicious friction against his skin. He loved the difference between textures of skin on skin: his hand in Gon’s pressing rough and calloused, the pads of his fingers running against Gon’s shoulder smooth like silk, his cheek against Gon’s cheek as he pants into his ear, their skin moist and stuck against each other. 

He wanted all of it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys were so sweet to me!! Of course I had to add another chapter after that!! Thank you so much for the encouragement! I really want to explore more relationships and story ideas with my writing now, you've motivated me so much! Much love to all the commentators and kudos-givers!!

Killua used their intertwined fingers to pin Gon’s arm beside his head, Killua’s other hand propping himself to hover lips over lips above Gon. Gon shifted with Killua so his back was flush with the mattress, his legs opening a little wider to allow Killua’s knees to rest between them. 

“Is this okay?” Killua breathed out gently, his mouth sending sparks of goose skin where breath caressed Gon’s face. 

“Yeah” Gon breathed in return, his eyes clearing from the sleep but no less relaxed than before. 

Killua bent his head down to skim his lips in the barest touch over Gon’s soft cheeks, nose, eyelids, and forehead, finally completing the circuit as he brushes back over Gon’s lips. Gon tilted his head up to catch Killua’s mouth in a kiss, as Killua leant a little back to avoid it getting too deep. There was something exhilarating about keeping their touches chaste and lingering. It was something reserved for the most emotionally charged occasions, when one of them had a particularly bad flashback or they had been separated for a little too long. 

Killua liked the contrast it made against their usual quick pace heat, although this felt more intense to him at times. 

Killua pulled back from Gon’s kiss creating a wet suction sound he really didn’t mind. Gon’s head had followed him up, but fell back against the pillow as Killua took his time simply looking at Gon. His cat-like blue eyes traced Gon’s thinly arched eyebrows, straight-set nose, modest mouth, and proud forehead and chin. The moonlight from the window casts an eerie ghoulish pallor to Gon’s usual sun kissed skin, changing the olive tones to greyish blue. Gon’s dark hair floated above his head, flowing over the pillows but maintaining its upright inclination. Killua gazed a moment more at Gon’s eyes, noting how the hazel shifts to chocolate darkness in the lowlight. 

Gon turned the corners of his mouth slightly in an amused and comfortable smile. He took the same time as Killua to look right back and enjoy his best friend’s proximity. Gon’s eyes were nonjudgmental and glowed bright with pride as he enjoyed the brilliantness of Killua’s eyes in the moonlight, the shock of ethereal white hair hanging in almost-curls from his forehead, his doll-like pale skin shining paper-white, and Killua’s lightly smug grin with purple-tinted lips. 

These were the looks only two lovers could share, the kind of nonverbal communication that told each other “I know you,” “I see you,” and “I accept you.” The things that were too vulnerable to say out loud was said in one sacred silence between the two boys. “I missed you” was this meeting's priority issue, causing a quiet ache in the bottom of their hearts where longing pulls them back together through the distance and years spent apart. 

Killua wanted to cry at the idea of leaving Gon again, but he stayed glued to the present as he dragged his eyes down Gon’s face to admire his bare chest and shoulders. 

Killua leant his weight back on his knees so he could pull his hands up from where they caged Gon against the mattress. His hands slid naturally over Gon’s broad shoulders and pectorals, applying light pressure to feel the firmness of muscle, sinew, and bone. Killua sat perched gently on one of Gon’s thighs, his knees on either side, and used this leverage to press his weight into his hands against Gon’s upper half in an almost-massage. 

Gon chuckled noting how similar Killua’s behavior was to a cat’s kneading. 

“Hm?” Killua asked, incredibly tuned into Gon’s body and wondering what he was thinking about. 

Rather than reply, Gon smiled and ran his own hands against Killua’s clothed sides, stroking his torso up and down lightly, just to feel the shape of it. His hands came to press on Killua’s hips momentarily before rubbing down his thighs with a more moderate squeeze. On his stroke up, Gon traced his hands around the thigh’s natural curve to press into Killua’s glutes through his boxers like Killua was doing to his pecs. 

It was Killua’s turn to chuckle breathily, the grin on his face somehow becoming even more smug. 

Killua shifted his weight forward onto his hands again, this time pressing into Gon rather than the mattress. Gon had better access to feel Killua’s ass in this position, but his hands slipped upwards to press against Killua’s lower back as Killua began exploring down the column of Gon’s throat. 

Killua didn’t so much skim his lips against Gon again as he did simply inhale and exhale against the skin. He started right below Gon’s ear, inhaling through his nose and exhaling softly out his mouth, leaving a hot moisture behind. He felt Gon shiver as it cooled and he continued his breath under Gon’s jaw. 

Gon stretched his head back slightly as the hot breath and cool air mixed to send shivers down his spine. Goose flesh rose all over his arms and he suppressed moving too much as Killua took advantage of the open access to Gon’s throat. When Killua made his way down to the collarbone, he dragged the tip of his tongue up one side of Gon’s jugular, nibbling lightly at the prominent muscle tensed along its side. 

Gon had been shifting his hands lightly against Killua’s broad and well-defined back, but he twisted his fingers into the cotton t-shirt at Killua’s teasing. He shifted his legs slightly, bending the knees a bit and flexing the arches of his feet so the light burn would counter the restless sensation Killua’s mouth was giving him. 

Killua smiled at the small responses Gon’s body gave him. He loved the feeling of satisfaction and power that he could get from pleasing Gon. He loved feeling wanted—not just physically, but in every way imaginable. 

Killua was often more interested in touching Gon receiving touch in return—he felt too easily overwhelmed by gentle sensation—but Gon had learned how to move with confidence so Killua wouldn’t startle. He liked Gon’s touch to be heavy, with some level of strength behind it. It felt more familiar to Killua. Gon was happy to oblige and learned quickly where the boundaries lie, so Killua felt more at ease with physical intimacy over time. They balanced each other out that way: Gon giving the steadfast pressure and stability while Killua gives the teasingly light touch and volatility. 

They were both head over heels for each other even before they developed a physical relationship, so no matter what sort of touch it was, both knew it was given with love. It began years ago with their sparring and wrestling practice, but it was hard to tell the difference between a platonic punch and a romantic one, so it became easier to simply take what was given without overthinking it. 

Killua guessed that was how their emotional and physical relationship culminated into what they had now, although it still remained undefined. It didn’t matter to him how he was labelled, all that mattered was that Gon was happy and that he himself could continue feeling the assured comfort that he was worthy of love, acceptance, and desire.


End file.
